I see soap-dropping in this psychic’s future

Psychic lies cost moneySenora Monica is ordinary self-proclaimed psychic. She reads your palm. She reads tarot cards. She interpret your dreams. She talks to the dead. She performs spells, counter spells, and love spells. She improves your sex life. She runs off with your money. She gives you fortune-cookie-quality advice.

Wait. What was that?

She gives you fortune-cookie-quality advice?

No before that.

She improves your sex life?

No, after that.

OHHH! She runs off with your money. Yeah, about that:

But some people who went to Senora Monica for tarot readings were also dupes into giving her their money so that she might “cleanse” it in exchange for a small fee. What they didn’t realize that the small fee was actually all of their money. And she didn’t so much “cleanse” it as “run off with it”. Now police are on the hunt for her. If you have any information about Senora Monica’s whereabouts, please call Lakewood police at 253-830-5000.

Man, if you can’t trust a self-proclaimed psychic, who can you trust?

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