German Family Ministry trying to get book labeled ‘dangerous for children’

The German Family Ministry trying to get book labeled ‘dangerous for children.’ Why is it that every organization with the word “family” in the name is a front group for evil fascism? And if that organization is German, you know it’s got to be, like, at least twice as fascist as, say, Focus on the Family or the American Family Association. They should all just get together and form one big group called the Focus on the Fascist Family or the FFF.

Anyway, they claim that the children’s book, “How Do I Get to God, Asked the Small Piglet,” by Michael Schmidt-Salomon is dangerous because it criticizes Judaism and it’s two bastard children, Christianity and Islam. Who wants to bet they’re more outraged at the insulting of Christianity than the other two? At least I suppose they can’t play Bill “I love child rapists” Donohue’s classic, “you wouldn’t dare mock Islam” gambit.

The illustrated kiddy book at the center of the outrage tells the story of a piglet and a hedgehog searching for “God.”

Along the way they encounter a rabbi, a bishop and a mufti who are portrayed as insane, violent and continually at each other’s throats.

Ah ha! What kind of sick monster would provide children with an accurate description of the three Abrahamic religions?!

The rabbi is drawn in the same way as the caricatures from the propaganda of 1930’s Germany; corkscrew curls, fanatical lights in his eyes, a set of predator’s flashing teeth and hands like claws.

Yes, clearly this book is anti-semetic because it equally attacks three different ideologies, one of which happens to be the Jewish religion. You see, it’s really just about slandering the Jews. The author just must have thrown in the negative depictions of Christianity and Islam to throw us off.

The mufti fares little better.

See, what did I tell you?

While he greets both animals at first as a quiet man and invites them into his mosque, he soon changes into a ranting fanatic. He assembles a baying Islamic mob and holds the animals up in a clenched fist while condemning them to everlasting damnation through bared teeth and an unruly-looking beard.

That is so inaccurate. As everyone knows, Islam is the religion of peace and doesn’t have any fanatics at all. And everyone knows Muslims don’t believe in everlasting damnation or have unruly-looking beards. This book is so wrong.

The insinuation here is that all visitors to mosques are extremists and every imam who appears reasonable is, in truth, nevertheless, a preacher of hate.

Yes, I’m sure there’s even a page in the book that tells the reader any moderate message that can be interpreted is wrong and that the only possible interpretation is that all religious people are pure 100% evil. In fact, I think I heard that was a possible alternative title to the book.

The bishop, a pale fat man with a clearly insinuated predilection for child abuse, makes up the unholy trinity which eventually convinces piglet and hedgehog, after they have survived the long search in the maze of religions, that nothing of any importance has been missing from their lives.

Oh, come on! Just because the Catholic Church has been proven in a court of law to be responsible for at least thousands of well-documented cases of child rape and that the Pope himself is personally responsible for aiding a decades-long cover-up that allowed child rapists to continue to rape more and more children when they could have been rotting in jail, that’s no reason to characterize–wait, what was my point again?

“I think that God doesn’t even exist,” the hedgehog says at the end of the book. “And if He does, than he definitely doesn’t live in [a synagogue, cathedral or mosque].”

Ah ha! See! The moral of the story is that Jews are filthy dogs that should be killed in death camps and that all religious people on the planet are violent rapists. It’s all right there in the end of the book. What over message could possibly get from that book?

Calling the ministry’s accusations an “attack on freedom of expression,” the publisher said the book answers the question of whether a nonreligious child is missing part of life “from the perspective of secular humanism.”

Schedel added that the book is intended for nonreligious parents looking to provide their children with a critical view of religion.

“All three religions are treated equally in the book,” he said. “No one is negatively singled out.”

Author Schmidt-Salomon said the book was “desperately needed considering the enormous mass of religious children’s stories.” He added that he the book offers children and their parents the opportunity to read about agnostic beliefs if they choose.

“Children also have a right to enlightenment,” he wrote on a Web site set up dedicated to the book. “They should not be left defenseless to the scientifically untenable and ethically problematic stories of religion.”

Oh. That actually kind of makes sense. In fact, if read that way, it’s not really all that offensive at all. Rather, it kind of makes the accusations against the book seem like the real offensive behavior.

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