MYSTERIES
Why would anyone think that in this time of crisis, the Haitians need solar-powered, digital Bibles? – The only ones who may hold the key to his mystery is Faith Comes By Hearing, the group who instead of offering financial aid, food, or medical supplies decided that the most important priority was to send useless, solar-powered audio Bibles.
According to their website, the Proclaimer is “self-powered and can play the Bible in the jungle, desert or … even on the moon!”
Well as long as it can work on the moon. I was worried there for a minute but that completely alleviated my concerns for the health and safety of the Haitian people. Come to think of it though, another great mystery is how the sound waves from this audio Bible work in a vacuum. That just blew my mind. I’m gonna have to ask Mr. Owl for the answer to that one.
MAGIC
U.S. military weapons inscribed with secret ‘Jesus’ Bible Codes –
Coded references to New Testament Bible passages about Jesus Christ are inscribed on high-powered rifle sights provided to the United States military by a Michigan company, an ABC News investigation has found.
The sights are used by U.S. troops in Iraq and Afghanistan and in the training of Iraqi and Afghan soldiers.
Yup, nothing says Jesus loves you like seeing an enemy combatant in the sight of a high-powered rifle. And don’t we all feel so much safer knowing that our troops are now protected by magic? You can’t put a price on that kind of protection. Well actually you can. And in case you were wondering, it’s $660 million. Maybe next we should replace their armor with magic Mormon underwear.
MIRACLES
Skepacabra 