Does the Catholic Church know they have a right to remain silent?

In the past few weeks it seems like the Catholic Church has gained a new enemy, one that is will stop at nothing to destroy their reputation. That enemy, it turns out, is themselves. Instead of learning from the sex scandals of those who have come before and dropping below the radar, the Church has decided to go another way, digging themselves deeper and deeper every single day with a brand new excuse and scapegoat.

First, a leading Catholic exorcist used the ever popular “devil made them do it” defense. Then the Church and leading Catholic figures started responding by playing down the significance of their crimes with the always popular “everyone else is doing” defense. Then came the even more popular “blame the parents” defense. Then came the “blame the gays” defense.

Then the Church turned its focus away from excusing their crimes to announcing reasons why the Pope should be immune from prosecution. The first is that the Pope, as head of state, is immune from prosecution (aka Joey Ratz does whatever Joey Ratz wants and if you get in the way, he’ll whack you or have your children horribly raped). The second excuse is that the American priests were not Vatican employees  (This should go over really well with the American Catholics). And the third excuse is that they’ve declared by fiat that the smoking gun evidence that has been confirmed by high ranking church officials is really not smoking gun evidence at all (I call this the Jedi Mind Trick defense – these aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Now move along).

Then another leading Catholic exorcist led the offensive against the media for having the audacity to report the undeniable facts about the greatest sex scandal in human history by using the “devil is making the media do it” defense. Bill Donohue just accused the New York Times of being biased against Catholicism. Then more Church leaders ran with the media accusations approach and declared the media were akin to anti-Semites, which was particularly amusing given the Catholic Church’s long history of promoting anti-Semitism. This was obviously a smart move because when you’re in such hot water already, why not piss off the Jews too while you’re at it? Of cource El Papa himself wasn’t going to restrict his grand media conspiracy theories to any one group. No, the Pope went for a more generic “they’re all out to get us” defense:

“I am personally convinced that the constant presence in the press of the sins of Catholic priests, especially in the United States, is a planned campaign … to discredit the church.”

Then as they continued to deny the smoking gun evidence of the Pope’s and the Church’s involvement in these crimes, even more smoking gun evidence surfaced that directly implicated the Pope

Then in the last few days, it got REALLY interesting. In addition to continuing to use the “blame the gays” defense, they decided to condemn a Connecticut bill that would remove the statute of limitations on child sexual abuse cases for some unknown reasons because the Catholic Church has been denying guilt for child abuse cases and, if you remember, specifically distanced themselves from American Catholic officials. That was the same day a Bishop used the super popular “blame the Jews” defense:

A website quoted Giacomo Babini, the emeritus bishop of Grosseto, as saying he believed a “Zionist attack” was behind the criticism, considering how “powerful and refined” the criticism is.

The comments, which have been denied by the bishop, follow a series of statements from Catholic churchmen alleging the existence of plots to weaken the church and Pope Benedict XVI.

Allegedly speaking to the Catholic website Pontifex, Babini, 81, was quoted as saying: “They do not want the church, they are its natural enemies. Deep down, historically speaking, the Jews are God killers.”

Oh, how adorable that last statement would have been had it not been used the greatest fascist dictator in history to justify the systematic extermination of six million Jews in the greatest act of genocide ever recorded…and you know, it didn’t directly contradict the Catholic Church’s official position:

On its website, the American Jewish Group Committee quoted bishop Vincenzo Paglia, an official at the Italian Bishops’ Conference, as saying Babini’s remarks were “entirely contrary to the official line and mainstream thought of the Catholic church”.

Whoever is doing their PR is doing a spectacular job of making things worse. I couldn’t make the Church look any worse if you paid me millions of dollars to do so. By tomorrow they’ll probably be blaming black people and the decline of slavery for their inability to restrain themselves from raping children.

Why not? They’ve got nothing to lose as those responsible for these crimes and for the crimes of covering it up and allowing it to continue will NEVER EVER BE PUNISHED FOR THEIR ACTIONS. Even the most outraged media personalities won’t go any further than insisting that the Pope resign…cause after all, that’s the strictest punishment we have for aiding child rapists, right? And if the Pope resigns, the Catholic Church will never ever rape any other children or cover up the rapes of children ever again, right?

None of these people will be appropriate punished because they work for the Catholic Church. Bill Maher said it best:

That’s right. The Pope is coming to America this week, and, ladies, he’s single! Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Bill, you can’t be saying that the Catholic Church is no better than this creepy Texas cult! For one thing, altar boys can’t even get pregnant.”

But, really, what tripped up the “little cult on the prairie” was that they only abused hundreds of kids, not thousands all over the world. Cults get raided. Religions get parades. How does the Catholic Church get away with all of their buggery? VOLUME, VOLUME, VOLUME!

If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you “Pope.”

It’s like if you can’t pay your mortgage, you’re a deadbeat, but if you can’t pay a million mortgages, you’re Bear Stearns, and we bail you out. And that’s who the Catholic Church is, the Bear Stearns of organized pedophilia. Too big to fail.

The Catholic Church is just “too big to fail” or too big and influential for authorities to stand up to them. What politician would demand these monsters be prosecuted under the law? So they’re going to get away with it and we should either stop kidding ourselves into thinking otherwise or prepare to take extreme action to force politicians into action.

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2 Responses to Does the Catholic Church know they have a right to remain silent?

  1. […] In the past few weeks it seems like the Catholic Church has gained a new enemy, one that is will stop at nothing to destroy their reputation. That enemy, it turns out, is themselves. Instead of learning from the sex scandals of those … View full post on catholic – Google Blog Search […]

  2. Pleiadian Channelings…

    […]Does the Catholic Church know they have a right to remain silent? « Skepacabra[…]…

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