These aren’t the druids you’re looking for

Austrian government officials have hired Druids to perform magic to improve road safety. And we’re told, since the Druids did that voodoo that they do so well, there has been a dramatic decline in car accidents. Of course, there doesn’t seem to be scientific data to support this claim. But who needs evidence when you’ve got magic Druids who have the power to negate the laws of cause and effect in the universe because of their magical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Wait. Druids are the ones with the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, right? I always get those mixed up.