Biggest threat to Christianity: Everything

Though it’s nothing new to hear Christians decrying anything they personally don’t like as destroying their religion, lately I’ve come across a number of funny examples…

Such as Harry Potter, according to Christian media scholar Dr. Ted Baehr, chairman of the Christian Film & Television Commission.

“The final chapter to the Harry Potter stories, like the books, contains some surprisingly overt Christian allegorical elements,” Baehr admits, “but the movie version slightly changes the final confrontation between the hero and the villain to make it even more like a spectacular magical showdown between two sorcerers.”

Baehr, a theologian and Bible scholar, pointed out that the God of the Bible strongly condemns witchcraft and sorcery as evil and loathsome in Deuteronomy 18:10-13. In the New Testament, Jesus Christ affirms all of God’s law in Matthew 5:17 and other passages.

What’s more, Baehr adds, God commands people not to speak to or consult dead people, yet that is exactly what happens in the final Harry Potter movie. And yet another problem with the movie, Baehr says, is a line of dialogue suggesting that people who deserve it will be rewarded.

“This goes against Christian teaching. The Bible says that everyone has fallen short of the glory of God and that Jesus Christ died for our sins even though all people are undeserving, evil sinners,” Baehr says.

…because apparently their all-powerful god is no match for J.K. Rowling.

Though, at least from a literary standpoint, that’s undeniable. One author has written a series of books with actual coherent plots and fully developed, identifiable characters with timeless themes relevant to its audience while the other author has penned one book (more or less) that is completely incoherent, self-contradictory, featuring paper-thin, two-dimensional characters, and almost no themes relevant to the lives of anyone living in the modern world. Hmm, tough one.

But Harry Potter isn’t the only one destroying Christianity. Christian “scholar” (applying the most liberal use of that word possible) Josh McDowell has finger the internet as the greatest threat to Christianity. Fortunately, this revelation reached me in time to change my wicked, internet-using ways… thanks to the internet:

The Internet has given atheists, agnostics, skeptics, the people who like to destroy everything that you and I believe, the almost equal access to your kids as your youth pastor and you have… whether you like it or not.

Damn you, Al Gore! Don’t you know Jesus is powerless against porn, cynical nerds bitching about everything, and social networking sites?!

When asked for a response, word has it that Jesus startled his cat while pounding his metal fist on his desk while screaming, “I’ll get you next time, gadget!”

But did you know that Christians are by far the most persecuted minority in the United States today…far more than blacks, women, Hispanics, gays, atheists, and Gungans? Don’t believe me; Dr. Carol Swain says “Christians are the only ones under cease”, so it MUST be true:

So to clarify, this is a Christian nation one minute and the next it’s just a nation full of people who just pretend to be Christian. Wow, reality can just change on a dime, huh. But I have a dream, that one day Christians will be accepted in our society and even be capable of being elected president. I know. It sounds far-fetched, but I have high hopes.

Oh, and if you need further proof that Harry Potter is making baby Jesus cry, just look at this:

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6 Responses to Biggest threat to Christianity: Everything

  1. Sayingwhatneedsaying says:

    She’s a stupid C-U-N-T, who doesn’t even understand the question. I believe it’s time to start using ‘Violins’ to put an end to krixstains taking over the Country!

  2. […] Biggest threat to Christianity: Everything (skepacabra.wordpress.com) […]

  3. Sayingwhatneedsaying says:

    The BIGGEST threat to christianity is REALITY!!!!

  4. […] Biggest threat to Christianity: Everything (skepacabra.wordpress.com) […]

  5. […] Biggest threat to Christianity: Everything (skepacabra.wordpress.com) […]

  6. Sami Judd says:

    Ok, this is stupid. yeah, Harry Potter is witchcraft, but what about the STORY? The fact that Harry’s parents sacrificed their LIVES so that their only sons could live? Or the fact that Harry himself sacrificed his own life, so that his friends could live. “You can only serve one master,” HELLO?! Harry never served a ”master!” And Why would God hate anything with witchcraft? Oh yeah, because he’s got to be the most powerful being like, ever. Oh, and BTW, Not a single word about the devil, or satan was ever written in the HP books. And one other thing. This is question for all of those who think it’s ok to BURN Harry Potter books… Wouldn’t God rather see you giving that money to charity, then buying books that you plan to burn?

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