Michelle Bachmann recalls the shot heard ’round the world in Concord…New Hampshire

March 13, 2011

Oh, c’mon! Everyone knows the shot heard round the world that sparked the American Revolution between the 17 Colonies and the Soviet troops happened when Major Enola Gay fired into the Oklahoma City exhaust poirt without using his targeting computer, which drove King Tut to declare war!

Yes, I hate to post another story about the stupid things that come out of politicians’ mouths so soon but I couldn’t pass this one up. Last time, I  justified because I was singling out Rand Paul’s illogical argument. In this one, I’m educating Ms. Bachmann’s historical myth.

As any American reader who has passed middle school almost certainly knows, Concord and Lexington are not in New Hampshire…and that the “shot heard ’round the world was in Massachusetts.

I don’t know what troubles me more, that a sitting U.S. public official doesn’t know the first thing about one of the most basic historical facts concerning the Revolutionary War that is taught to literally just about every middle school student in this country, that she thought Concord and Lexington were in New Hampshire instead of Massachusetts…for some reason, or that she somehow got to the point where she was delivering the speech without anyone correcting her…or that she repeated the same error later that very speech!

To hear such ignorance of our country’s history come out of the mouth of a sitting Congresswomen is just disgraceful. This has got to be up there as one of the stupidest things to come out of a Tea Party candidate yet (and that says a lot)…at least until someone suggests that New Hampshire has the proud history of being the home of Plymouth Rock or that George Washington retreated across the Atlantic Ocean.

Wait, what?! She said the Plymouth thing too?! Son of a bitch!

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News From Around The Blogosphere 5.28.10

May 28, 2010

1. Bachmann military prayer amendment defeated – The National Defense Authorization Act, proposed by Rep. Michele Bachmann, would have given military chaplains the new freedom to push their own religion’s specific prayers on soldiers. But fortunately, House leaders rejected it. I guess Bachmann didn’t pray enough.

2. Self-proclaimed ‘mindreader’ dismissed from jury because of his ‘powers’ – So what are these amazing powers?

Drew McAdam’s act includes reading thoughts, duplicating drawings done in secret and bending cutlery Uri Geller-style.

. . .

But the 54-yearold was sent home after officials recognised him as the human lie detector on Five’s Trisha chatshow.

He revealed: “The clerk had seen me doing body language and mindreading.

“Then he told me he was surprised that they had even let somebody like me on a jury in the first place.”

Best excuse to get out of jury duty EVER! I’m stealin’ it. At least one of the participants in the courtroom is bound to know someone named Charles.

Ernest Willis

3. Baptists fighting Catholic child rape monopoly – When Tina Anderson was 15, she was raped by a Trinity Baptist Church member named Ernest Willis, who got her pregnant. But when she accused Willis in the church, here’s how the pastor at the church responded:

When the pastor heard Anderson’s allegations, he told her that if she had “lived in the Old Testament,” she would have been stoned to death for not reporting the attack sooner.

“He also said I had ‘allowed myself to be put in a compromising situation,’ Anderson said. The pastor decided she needed to be “church-disciplined.”

“I was completely humiliated,” Anderson said, her voice quavering at the memory. “I hoped it was a nightmare I’d wake up from, and it wouldn’t be true anymore.”

Wow. Just wow.

4. Teacher fired from Catholic high school over Facebook poll – Abby Nurre, a teacher at a Catholic high school answered a Facebook poll about her if she believed in God, angels or miracles. She answered “no,” which resulted in her being fired from her job:

Now she’s out of a job because, as the school board put it, she violated “a policy that prohibits employees from advocating principles contrary to the dogmatic and moral teaching of the church.”

Cause as everyone knows, education means believing what you’re told no matter what.

This Week In God 8.28.09

August 28, 2009

1. Phillip Garrido: kidnapper, child rapist, Heaven-bound-Jesus-lover – So Garrido and his wife kidnapped this 11-year-old girl in 1991, they imprisoned her in the backyard, he raped her repeatedly, he had 2 children with her (now 11 and 15 years old) who were also imprisoned for their whole lives, and of course he loves Jesus. In fact, some thought he was even going to start a church. Lovely. Oh, and he has–err, had a blog where he discussed Jesus.

2. 64% of people won’t be swayed by scientific evidence if it conflicts with their religious beliefs – That is frightening, though not entirely surprising. It’s like trying to convince an anti-vaccinationist that maybe their gut isn’t a better expert than the doctors.

faith healing3. Washington state law considers Christian Science faith healing to be acceptable medical treatment

Washington’s law specifies that a person treated through faith healing “by a duly accredited Christian Science practitioner in lieu of medical care is not considered deprived of medically necessary health care or abandoned.” Other religions are not mentioned.

prayerhardwork4. Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann’s solution to healthcare – I’ve talked about this fucktard before. Just about every word out of her mouth seems to make Sarah Palin look smarter by comparison. Case in point, her solution to the healthcare crisis:

“That’s really where this battle will be won — on our knees in prayer and fasting,” she told the listeners. “Remember: faith without works is dead. So we’re asking you to do all of it: pray, fast, believe, trust the Lord, but also act.”

Seriously, can’t we throw her out of office at this point?

Michele Bachmann’s idiocy bunny keeps going and going and going…

May 3, 2009

Michele Bachmann is the infamous Minnesota Republican who last year called for a return to McCarthyism, and who recently denied evidence of Global Climate Change, and who just a few days ago “was just saying” that it was an interesting coincidence how swine flu only turns up when Democrats are in the White House. . .even though this is the first swine flu to hit the U.S. under Democratic rule and even though swine flu neither knows nor cares which political party is in charge.

Well now she’s stuck her foot in her mouth again. This time she perpetuates a popular myth invented by Christians about an alleged prayer George Washington delivered himself at his inauguration in order to claim that Washington wanted everyone to behave like Jesus.

Of course there are a few problems here. First, Washington delivered no such prayer. Second, it’s not even a prayer but a redaction of a direct statement to a governor rewritten to look like a prayer. Third, Washington wasn’t a Christian and only believed in a Deist god. Fourth, George Washington also owned slaves. So by Bachmann’s logic, I suppose it’s in the best interests of the country for us all to own slaves too.

The Founding Fathers were just people. While they were incredibly wise in some ways, they were also men of their time with all the limitations that come with that. And Founders themselves had the good sense to recognize that they didn’t have all the answers. That’s why they designed a government that could change with the times.

Bachmann of course also said a bunch of other nonsense but who has time to correct it all.

Michele Bachmann’s stupidity is all natural, baby!

April 25, 2009

In case somehow someone out there was still not convinced that Michelle Bachmann is one of the stupidest people to ever be elected to office in the U.S., in just 3 minutes, she supplies more than enough evidence that this is so.

And I know I said in the headline that her stupidity is all natural but who am I kidding? Such stupidity isn’t merely there from birth. No, it takes a team of expert morons teaching him from kindergarten all the way through higher education and beyond to contribute in making a person this stupid.

Apparently, according to Ms. Bachmann, if something is natural, then it’s good for you. You know what else is natural? Cyanide. Arsonic. Methylmercury. Hemlock. Cocaine.

I don’t even know where to begin with this one, so I’ll pass it over to PZ Myers to refute some of her more idiotic statements.