High school marching band shirts spark unlikely controversy

August 30, 2009

The high school marching band in Sedalia, Missouri has become the center of controversy because of their band t-shirts. Why are the t-shirts pissing people off? They reference evolution. Ugh!

The band explained their intended meaning of the shirts:

Assistant Band Director Brian Kloppenburg said the shirts were designed by him, Band Director Jordan Summers and Main Street Logo. Kloppenburg said the shirts were intended to portray how brass instruments have evolved in music from the 1960s to modern day. Summers said they chose the evolution of man because it was “recognizable.” The playlist of songs the band is slated to perform revolve around the theme “Brass Evolutions.”

But the best part comes from one of the band mom’s, who shockingly is a teacher in the district herself (though you wouldn’t know it from this little gem):

Band parent Sherry Melby, who is a teacher in the district, stands behind Pollitt’s decision. Melby said she associated the image on the T-shirt with Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution.

“I was disappointed with the image on the shirt.” Melby said. “I don’t think evolution should be associated with our school.”

Yeah, we don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea that the kids are doing any learning in our schools. What would my husband/brother think? That’s why we burned all the books that didn’t have the words “Holy” and “Bible” on the covers.

It might seem like the previous paragraph was an unfair characterization of this group, but it’s worth mentioning that the assistant superintendent did indeed sell out his students’ future to appease an angry mob by bowing to their abscene demands and recalled the shirts. His reason?

Pollitt said the district is required by law to remain neutral where religion is concerned.

“If the shirts had said ‘Brass Resurrections’ and had a picture of Jesus on the cross, we would have done the same thing,” he said.

Seriously? That’s your reason? This is stupid on numerous levels but I’ll just point out two:

A. Evolution is not a religion; it’s scientific fact. This is like pulling a shirt that says “Brass Abraham Lincoln” because it might offend those who don’t believe Lincoln was a real person.

B. Religion doesn’t have the monopoly on the word “resurrection,” so why would the phrase “Brass Resurrections” be considered religiously insensitive?

So what’s the harm of having such uneducated buffoons running your education system? See for yourself:

Senior Drum Major Mike Howard said he was disappointed when he had to return the shirt.

“I liked the shirt because it was unique,” Howard said. “The theory of evolution never even crossed my mind.”

Really Mike? Evolution didn’t cross your mind when seeing the “ascent of man” image? Wow!