The Onion nails the power of positive thinking movement

January 14, 2010

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News From Around The Blogosphere 12.20.09

December 20, 2009

1. Australian Catholic leader says cancer can be cured with prayer – According to the head of the Catholic Church in Australia, Cardinal Pell:

“Yes obviously (cancer can be cured by prayer),” Cardinal Pell told ABC Television on Monday.

“And there are quite a number of examples in the books.”

Cardinal Pell says that won’t give sick people a false sense of security because they realise cure by prayer is a “very long shot”.

So is “God” not all powerful or just usually a prick? Which is it? How about amputees? What’s “God’s” success rate at curing them?

2. Flying Spaghetti Monster or Cthulhu revealed in dining room table

3. The Onion lists the top 10 stories of the last 4.5 billion years – The Onion proves to be the ultimate cure for end of the ubiquitous year/end of the decade lists. My favorite on the list is “Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World”:

Members of the earth’s earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as God, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.

According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians—the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government—were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.

“I do not understand,” reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. “A booming voice is saying, ‘Let there be light,’ but there is already light. It is saying, ‘Let the earth bring forth grass,’ but I am already standing on grass.”

I’m also quite partial to these other two items on the list: “Woman Domesticated” and “Industrial Revolution Provides Millions Of Out-Of-Work-Children With Jobs.”

4. Solstice display goes up in Raleigh, North Carolina – The Triangle Freethought Society put up the display in Moore Square near a nativity scene. The display tells the real reason for the season.

Happy Solstice everyone!

The Onion fools two Bangladeshi newspapers

September 9, 2009

The other day, I read an amusing article in The Onion describing a supposed press conference where Neil Armstrong, first man on the moon, announced that he believed that the Apollo 11 moon landing (the very mission he flew) was a hoax. Of course I found the article rather hilarious because it quoted Armstrong as admitting that he believed it was real until being convinced by conspiracy theorist videos on YouTube and of course, because The Onion is not a real newspaper. It’s a satire on mainstream news.

Unfortunately, both these facts escaped the Daily Manab Zamin and the New Nation, two Bangladeshi newspapers, who uncritically reported this story without checking it out first:

“We thought it was true so we printed it without checking,” associate editor Hasanuzzuman Khan told the AFP news agency.

“We didn’t know the Onion was not a real news site.”

Both papers have apologized for the embarrassing error.

News From Around The Blogosphere 11.6.08

November 7, 2008

Is Obama seriously considering antivaccinationist Robert Kennedy Jr. for the EPA? – I soooo hope this is bullshit. I know you’ve got an awesome slogan but “No, he can’t!” Don’t let me down this early, Barack.

Age of Autism: pot calling kettle black? – AoA ridicules Dr. Nancy Synderman’s performance on The Today Show for allegedly doing exactly what the antivaccinationists themselves have been doing!! Proof of inconsistency right here.

The Onion brilliantly satirizes the recent “rain man” autism study – Knocked it out of the park.

Large Hadron Collider and irrational fears – USA Today takes a look at the history of people being terrified that scientists are about to destroy the world. Of course, so far unsuccessfully.

Okay, I lied. The world actually ended on November 9, 1980. You weren’t among those raptured into Heaven and we didn’t have the heart to tell you.

If you were watching the news tonight you might have caught a segment talking about a study suggesting migraines were good for preventing breast cancer (I know, they’re late for Breast Cancer Awareness Month–lazy bastards!) Well anyway, here’s a closer look at the study.

You might be an Uncle Tom atheist if. . . – I do somewhat agree with this list but I also do recognize the need for “friendly” atheists, “militant” atheists, and atheists in between. Though really my notion of friendly atheists doesn’t fit this definition of an “Uncle Tom” atheist, which are pretty worthless in my opinion. Though technically the very term “Uncle Tom” is a straw man of the character in the book. But it’s important to note that even on the opposite side, some atheists really are just jackasses who should be criticized by the rest of the atheist “community” for lack of a better word:


scientist-use-in-case-of-emergencyCould Rocks Sponge Carbon Dioxide From Air? – “Scientists say that a type of rock found at or near the surface in the Mideast nation of Oman and other areas around the world could be harnessed to soak up huge quantities of globe-warming carbon dioxide.”

First Genome Of Cancer Patient Sequenced – “For the first time, scientists have decoded the complete DNA of a cancer patient and traced her disease – acute myelogenous leukemia – to its genetic roots.”

New Differences Between Human, Chimp Genomes – “Researchers have carried out the largest study of differences between human and chimpanzee genomes, identifying regions that have been duplicated or lost during evolution of the two lineages. The study, published in Genome Research, is the first to compare many human and chimpanzee genomes in the same fashion.”