‘Politichicks’ – proof of a right-wing conspiracy against the right-wing

November 16, 2011

Victoria JacksonHave you seen this new talk show, Politichicks? It’s apparently right-wing America’s answer to The View, which already had several right-wingers. This new show doesn’t bother having another opinion on it; just four ultra-conservative gals, including tragic brain-damage victim Victoria Jackson, talking smack about them damned, dirty homosexuals, Muslims, and liberals who’ve persecuted them, preventing them from having their own unoriginal talk shows where they can bitch about how much they’re forbidden from bitching about stuff.

And holy shit is it both endlessly entertaining…and informative! Did you know that every terrorist that ever lived was a Muslim? Timothy McVeigh? Muslim. Guy Fawkes? Muslim. Carlos The Jackel? Muslim. Samuel Adams? Muslim. Hans Gruber? Muslim. Yup. Every terrorist ever was Muslim. It’s not even possible to be a terrorist unless you’re Muslim. You learn that and many other equally amazing facts on Politichicks:

Wow! Just wow! You’ve got to be shitting me! C’mon, this is a Poe, right? It’s GOT to be! These “chicks” hate Islam more than Salmon Rushdie and Ayaan Hirsi Ali combined and for reasons not nearly as reasonable. Far be it from me to defend Islam, but my criticisms of Islam at least pertain to actual aspects of Islam. Victoria Jackson and company don’t even seem to know the first thing about it. And the few almost halfway legitimate reasons they cite are criticisms that can just as easily be applied to Christianity, the very definition of a death-worshiping religion. The whole thing is one big celebration of human sacrifice and Christians often carry the instrument of that sacrifice around their necks as a symbol of that sacrifice.

But maybe I shouldn’t bother criticizing this show since the biggest victims here are conservatives themselves who should find it and Victoria Jackson’s child-like mind (at one point, she actually repeats an expression her dad taught her ala Adam Sandler’s character in Waterboy) to be a complete embarrassment to all that they stand for. I know for a fact that there are right-wing conservatives far smarter and more coherent than these simpletons. This is beyond pathetic and so, as a mostly liberal progressive, I hope this show lasts longer than Saturday Night Live. May everything that’s fundamentally wrong with right-wing America continue to be represented by nitwits like Victoria Jackson:

PS: Yes, I know that Hans Gruber wasn’t technically a terrorist but more of a high tech thief under the guise of a terrorist but I couldn’t think of the name of any good movie terrorists, so sue me.

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Victoria Jackson vs. Glee

March 22, 2011

I’ve never watched an episode of Glee, but its ability to constantly piss off the religious right makes me a fan. Now Victoria Jackson has come out condemning the show for reasons even she doesn’t seem to know:

This is Victoria Jackson at her most intelligible. I’m starting to think this is a Poe and she’ll one day come out and admit she’s just an AndyKaufman-like provocateur because nobody can be this stupid and delusional.

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Fox & their friends – the reason the facebalm was invented

July 8, 2009

Wow, two Fox “News” stories in one day! As well as one story that’s only very loosely related because it’s exactly the kind of thing you’d expect to hear on Fox “News.”

1. First, the Friendly Atheist reports about Fox’s latest attempt to paint President Obama as an anti-Christian out to ban religion. This came after Chris Rodda of the Daily Kos reported about an unconstitutional tradition of public-funded military planes doing flyovers at evangelical Christian events. After the Military Religious Freedom Foundation exposed this scandal, the flyovers stopped, including those scheduled for the “God and Country Festival” in Idaho, an overtly Christian event.

This led to Gretchen Carlson of Fox and Friends bringing Patrick Mahoney of the Christian Defense Coalition onto her show to condemn the change in policy and inexplicably blame Obama for this incident and use the event as a platform to call the president an anti-Christian bigot.  Carlson didn’t have anyone else on the show to debate the other side because. . .you know, Fox is “fair and balanced. And to give a hint of what an extraordinary idiot (or liar–I report, you decide) Mr. Mahoney is, at one point he says that the Constitution says Americans have the freedom of religion and NOT the freedom from religion. Apparently, he’s never actually read the Constitution.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;

Yeah, see liberals! The Constitution says nothing about all about freedom from rel–OH!

One wonders what Carlson’s reaction would be if she heard military planes were doing flyovers at a Muslim festival.

2. Although this story isn’t actually about Fox “News,” it involves such enormous ignorance combined with pure vitriolic hatred for President Obama that you’d swear it was voiced by a Fox “News” pundit.

Now I’ve blogged before about Julia Sweeney, the intelligent and well-spoken former Saturday Night Live star who became an outspoken atheist and even made a one-woman show out of the story of her apostasy. Well, one of her former castmates, Victoria Jackson, kinda went another way since the show ended. She became a batshit insane Religious Right evangelical loon. And Victoria Jackson had this to say about our President in her latest unstructured and erratic blog rant:

Obama legally kills babies and now he can legally kill Grandmas!

Hitler did this.  He killed the weak, the sick, the old, and babies and races/religions he didn’t like.  Hitler also controlled the media.  (Where’s the public debate between scientists on “Climate Change/Global Warming?”)   Hitler had the VW bug invented as the state car. What will O’s nationalized car be? So… kill off the weak.  That’s the plan.  Tax the workers to death.  Erase the middle class.  Sounds like the evil governments we studied in high school long ago.  The evil governments were :  kings, oligarchies, facist, socialist, and communist.  Now it’s called the Obama Administration. Sounds like candy or a rock band.

And to get a closer look into the strange world that is Victoria Jackson’s mind, here’s how the blog began:

I’d been wondering why the liberals are so passionate about this Health Care thing.  It couldn’t be because they actually care about sick, poor people.  If they did, they would visit hospitals, and give ten percent of their gross salaries to Compassion International and World Vision, like us stupid church go-ers do. Biden gave $ 62 to charity last year.

No, there’s gotta be a catch.  I guess this question was sitting in my brain and during my sleep, my brain was working on it, because when I suddenly awoke at 3 a.m.  I had the answer.

Euthanasia!

Social Security and Medicare are broke.  Baby boomers, like me, are getting old and will soon be asking for it.  Socialized medicine makes people die. You stand in a long, long line with a breast lump, clogged artery, or sharp pencil stuck in your eye, and someone like the DMV person, who can’t speak English, has chewing gum, an attitiude, really long fake nails that curl up at the end,  and is talking on a cell phone, enjoying their power trip moment, is finally face to face with you.  They mumble something incoherent about paperwork. You die. One less person in line for Social Security and Medicare!

Socialized medicine makes people die.” And no, that’s not my emphasis. SHE put that statement in BOLD. WOW! Yeah, what’s with all those liberals who are actually concerned about that little “Health Care thing” anyway? Who needs if it makes Victoria Jackson have to wait a little bit longer on a line that no other public health care countries actually have and if it resembles some stereotyped version of the DMV. And let’s not let little details like the fact that the DMV, the U.S. Postal Service, and other commonly cited examples actually work quite well despite some people finding them annoying to deal with–let’s not let all that get in the way of a perfectly good non-sensical criticism. I think the host of The Young Turks said it best: Victoria Jackson is really this dumb.

3. And did I detect the slightest hint of racism or xenophobia in that depiction of DMV employees? Nah! But speaking of racism, that brings me to Brian Kilmeade also of Fox & Friends, who had this to say:

Wow! What did he just say?

BRIAN KILMEADE: We keep marrying other species and other ethnics–

GRETCHEN CARLSON: Are you sure they are not suffering from some of the causes of dementia right now?

BRIAN KILMEADE: The problem is the Swedes have pure genes. They marry other Swedes, that’s the rule. Finns marry other Finns; they have a pure society. In America we marry everybody. We will marry Italians and Irish.

Huh. Interesting. Thanks for the insightful biology lesson there, Brian.


News From Around The Blogosphere 10.30.08

October 31, 2008

Even with an all-powerful god on their side, Christians are still afraid of a little girl, and they’re still no match for one with a rational mind.

Despite their “faith” in their teachings and the absolute power of their god to control the universe, they feel threatened by chocolate sculptures and teenage girls with YouTube accounts. A strong belief system should value skepticism because it tests one’s faith, which leads to stronger faith when that belief is verifiable as the truth. Only false prophets, teaching a weak faith, fear the questioning of that faith, because they know they might be wrong.

Has a psychic stopped Stop Sylvia Browne? – Robert Lancaster’s great website exposing the truth about sham psychic Sylvia Browne seems to have been hijacked by a psychic. It’s a shame. The site partially inspired Stop Jenny, at least in name.

And speaking of despicable, lying sacks of shit, here’s a great parody:

Religious Conservatives are still selling the lie – A church in Harlan, Indiana decided to post this sign for all to see:

The excuse?

“All I done was ask a question! I did not implicate anybody or anything, any party. I didn’t do anything,” said the official who wished to remain anonymous.

Riiight! Meanwhile, Victoria Jackson — the anti-Julia Sweeney — writes this on her website:

You see, what bothers me most, besides being a Communist, and a racist (Obama writes in his book, From Dreams of My Father, “I found a solace in nursing a pervasive sense of grievance and and animosity against my (white) mother’s race.”) (Obama’s “religion” of the last 20 years is Black Liberation Theology. What is that? “It is simply Marxism dressed up in Christian rhetoric. But unlike traditional Marxism, Black Liberation Theology emphasizes race rather than class. It’s leading theorist is James Cone who says Jesus was black, African-Americans are the chosen people, and whites are the devil. Cone says, “What we need is the destruction of whiteness, which is the source of human misery in the world.” The McAlvany Intelligence Advisor), is that he is a LIAR. He pretends to be a Christian and he incriminates himself everytime he speaks about Christianity. To lie about being a believer in Christ is very dangerous. Lightning could strike him at any minute! But seriously, he doesn’t have a clue what the Bible says and yet he pretends to be a church- going Christian to win votes. That is sooooo evil.

And speaking of Obama, even when he’s making an attack ad, Obama keeps it clean:

10 things you don’t know about black holes

Knowledge Versus Expertise

“The internet, in democratizing knowledge, has led a lot of people to believe that it is also possible to democratize expertise.”

The Cyprus Serpent -On the island of Cyprus people are frantically searching for their very own Loch Ness Monster, a sea creature reportedly roaming the depths near the Kouris Dam. Of course there’s nothing but anecdotal evidence for the creature’s existence, so I wouldn’t hold your breath.

AND NOW FOR A MOMENT OF SCIENCE:

Immune System Causes Common Cold Symptoms – “A University of Calgary scientist confirms that it is how our immune system responds, not the rhinovirus itself, that causes cold symptoms. Of more than 100 different viruses that can cause the common cold, human rhinoviruses are the major cause.”

Real Robinson Crusoe: Evidence Of Island Camp – “Cast away on a desert island, surviving on what nature alone can provide, praying for rescue but fearing the sight of a boat on the horizon. These are the imaginative creations of Daniel Defoe in his famous novel Robinson Crusoe. Yet the story is believed to be based on the real-life experience of sailor Alexander Selkirk, marooned in 1704 on a small tropical island in the Pacific for more than four years, and now archaeological evidence has been found to support contemporary records of his existence on the island.” So that’s where Locke took the island!